So My family we just got back from a camping trip. I had just moved in to my new condo which was up a huge cliff near the ocean. I had driven all day to get up the mountain road parallel to the max tracks to get back. I had bought a ton of fruit at winco and put it all in those big watermelon cardboard barrels on the floor. Tommy and Ariel and some other people visited me, and we were walking around outside.

We saw a little doggy looking thing run across yard and start circling me. It was too long though, and i couldn't see the head it was racing around me so fast. "I don't think it's a dog" I said, getting kinda nervous. Then, a two-foot long horse shaped like a bean hurtled across the yard and bowled me over, licking my face like a dog. then a 2-foot long caterpillar shaped giraffe came over and affectionately rubbed against us. Each time we pet it, the squares on its back would change from yellow to brown to silver. We turned it over, and underneath had a manufacturers seal.

We followed all the toy pets into the apartment below mine, and met the people there. Their place was a wreck. Bathroom mirrors busted, everything done in concrete, they walked around dressed like hillbillies, and then we got to the living room. There were hundreds of them, but they were all dressed like civil war soldiers now, watching a kung fu movie.

We walked back outside, and there were german turn-of-the-century automobiles everywhere. the dude from dynasty warrior was with us. the german cars held nazi re-enactors. I thought it was kinda funny, but dynasty warrior guy pulled out a huge golden naginata made from one long flute of metal. I taught everybody to say "I am swiss" in german so we could joke around with the nazi re-enactors, but dynasty warrior guy was absolutely pissed. I went upstairs back into my house, and dynasty warriors guys' wife was following me, but he turned around and killed several of the re-enactors. she was arguing with him about how we'll get in trouble, but he said it was OK, cause the rednecks would get blamed, and then they would kill each other.

I knew he'd be caught. I took the naginata from him, saying "I only know one way to erase their blood from your hands." I plunge the blade through my heart, and fall from the staircase, dead. dynasty warriors guy, who looks like rude from f7 now, stares down after me. "aren't you going after him?" his wife shouts, but he doesn't. "no sense wasting his sacrifice" he says.

So, I wake up the next day. my house is spotless. Tommy and Ariel are upstairs, I have both apartments to myself. also the bottom one looks okay. i walk outside, and its overcast, kinda windy. Tommy asks about living nearer to me to work nearby, and I tell him to stick at home, focus on gettin his driver license. i miss a step kinda stagger for a second, putting my hand to my heart. i shake my heard, and get into a black beetle I have in the parking lot. I drive down to a new house being constructed, and see the concrete has been poured wrong. the guy trying to fix it explains to me what the lady did wrong, and I listen. he shows me the difference, and I go to the store and buy him enough concrete to fix it. I drive home, past the max line that runs up the mountains. Tommy and Ariel are inside, but i wait near the mailbox, putting a special key into a slot underneath a tuba-shaped wind chime. it makes music, and I sit back, in a rocking chair, next to a coffee maker that makes spiced wine (i imagine it tastes like super-yummy apple cider)

a little girl comes by, and asks about my day. I'm telling her, and she nods and is happy. then, she's replaced by a little kid in army fatigues. he asks whatever happened to that one girl i dated, and that queers are fears (doesn't make sense, but he chants it like a mantra) I look peacefully at him and sip my wine, and Michael Ironside (bad guy from robocop, also in army fatigues) appears behind him. "what's he doing alive, son? next time i give you a mission, you're gonna do it right" he shouts, and the boy gets nervous. "I'll do it now!" he tries to say, but the general is already dragging him away. the little girl is back, and I just tell her it was a good day.

i look up, and I'm holding a little arm. I've just feverishly scribbled "A good day" along the arm. Tommy says from somewhere "What did he say? It is a good day to die?" he jokes, trying to put on a brave face. "yeah, I guess he did," says my sister Jessie. my vision fades to white.

it's a week later. my family are sitting in my living room, watching Muppet treasure island. they're all sad, and cry when it's over. I've in the corner, sitting up on the counter. i can't touch anything, and they can't hear me reply to their musing about my life. they aren't too sad, and I keep seeing them almost look at me. Jessie's reading my story, "a good day" which she pieced together from times and words i scribbled all over her shirt while i was in a coma. when i died, she had it printed in a little book, and it's beautiful. Tommy's telling everyone about how he's gonna be able to pay the rent on my apartment, but I'm yelling for him to sell it and stay in school.

they see a border collie come up from downstairs, and it's really nice. someone starts calling it from downstairs, but it doesn't go. then Elijah comes upstairs and seems to look right through me. "Hey Elijah" i say and he kinda raises his chin like "sup?"

"FUCK YOU!" I yell, surprised and happy and angry at the same time. how come he can see me? can he send my messages to my family? what's going on?

"Fuck you!" he shouts, happy, in the middle of the room, full of my grieving family. "When spirits start using you as a message board, then you can be upset!"

my family turn to him, shocked, but don't say anything. he walks out, going towards the mulled wine coffee machine. I tell him "OK, you know what, just tell them this: they should go ahead and sell the place. it's just a place, no need to freak out about it. or keep it, it's a really nice place next, they have to let me go. I did OK, i was happy. I know it may not seem that way, but I did OK. tell them that." then lights started shining around me.

"OK" Elijah said, and i started to float away. fade to white.